The Hubs and I met almost five years ago. I was in the dregs of a bad relationship. A failing relationship that had ended. With someone else. Also, The Hubs, well... he might be a tad younger than me. A few years. However, six years ago; eh, that felt like a much further gap. I was ready to start planting roots. I wanted to lay out my gardening utensils and start preparing my victory garden for life. You know; children, forever home, rocking chair(s) on the front porch (his and hers) , fresh peonies in clear vases through-out our modern but vintage decor, a great dental plan, Saturday brunches and big Sunday family dinners, matching bicycles, and a lemon tree or cherry tree (depending on the climate of course). The Hubs was just past legal drinking age. Do I need to say much more.
I felt like a wise old woman. He was handsome, witty and slightly charming. We dated briefly. It was good. He was set to deploy. There was some chatter about me possibly coming with him to marry and what not but I felt with the difference in age he would come to regret getting married so young. Especially to a woman who was ready for marriage plus more. I. E. listed above. We tried to make it work long distance but I wasn't ready to compromise anything. He wasn't ready to communicate. So like all great relationships lacking core components. It completely crashed and burned.
We fell out of touch. I started dating someone else semi-seriously. Ill-matched. He dated in typical man fashion. Fast and furious. However nothing stuck past date three for him and my semi-serious relationship was lacking; respect, trust, love. Just a few minor details. One day I checked my mistreated and forgotten facebook to see a friend request from The to be Hubs after three years. No message or explanation. An innocent friend request. I looked at his smiling face. I looked at mine and my non-smiling semi-serious boyfriend's face on my profile picture and knew immediately that if I accepted this small peace offering the boyfriend would end up being an ex-boyfriend. It sounds harsh but the decision was made in less than a minute.
I accepted. I broke up with the ill matched semi-serious someone else. We began catching up. It was good. And it was serious. He was very serious about marriage, children, rocking chairs his and hers. He had always been serious, despite his age which he did point out wasn't exactly his fault.
Once we began catching up, our friendship picked up right where we had left off. In no time, both of us were asking ourselves why had we broken up in the first place. All the difficulties that had held me back initially seemed small in comparison to the hell I had put up with in my last relationship to keep it afloat. Not thriving, but barely limping along. It was clear that we loved each other very much. We could weather time, distance and anything else life threw at us as a team. We wrote each other emails, texted constantly and made time to discuss important issues.We discussed Star Wars vs Star Trek and other important details. I'm kidding ( I mean we do discuss galaxies far far away... ) but we also we spoke about politics, religion and family matters. We spent time supporting each other's goals and dreams, making plans on how to achieve them. How we would raise future children. After reacquainting ourselves with one another, we of course started visiting. Our relationship sort of just floated into a joyful existence.
I said there was drama though and there was... I soon discovered that I was pregnant. In very romantic fashion we married, shot-gun style. In a court-house with only two witnesses, both were family members. Promising each other that we would have a big beautiful reception with our friends and family present once we settled into our forever city, home, etc.
Once we were married, everything changed. I felt at peace. Whole and content with life. It wasn't the big epic wedding or romance telenovela that I had consistently day dreamed almost every other day in my over active and allow to me to say creative mind. It was however, everything that I had ever really needed. Security comes with the knowledge that you can trust someone completely and that they love you exactly as you are... with my first failed marriage (oh yea, that was the relationship that had ended previously, you remember... the first time I met The Hubs ), and then my semi-serious someone else I learned that lesson hard.
Pregnancy was difficult. We were transferred to a high risk doctor because of high blood pressure and concerns about low amniotic fluids https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a568740/low-amniotic-fluid due to Everly's size. She measured small at two of our ultrasounds. The stress was extreme and I was never fully comfortable in my, as it turns out, completely healthy pregnancy. Luckily, the blood pressure evened itself out and the specialist straight out told us that our previous ultrasound tech had actually done the measurements on the wrong scale. Everly was born at a healthy seven lbs four ounces at 40 weeks and 2 days. Everly changed everything, in the best ways possible. The love that we managed to find as a family of three was epic, in every way.
Today, looking back at how everything came together. How it's still coming together. The happiness we feel every day. I find myself in wonderment of love. We fell in love five years ago and when we broke up, I was crushed. Completely devastated. He was crushed. It was the real reason I stayed so long in an emotionally abusive relationship. There was real fear that I had missed out on "The One". Only for us to reconnect and fall in love all over. Not a lot of people get many actual second chances. I think of how often we laugh and smile as a family... I know without a shadow of doubt this is our Happily Ever After.
I felt like a wise old woman. He was handsome, witty and slightly charming. We dated briefly. It was good. He was set to deploy. There was some chatter about me possibly coming with him to marry and what not but I felt with the difference in age he would come to regret getting married so young. Especially to a woman who was ready for marriage plus more. I. E. listed above. We tried to make it work long distance but I wasn't ready to compromise anything. He wasn't ready to communicate. So like all great relationships lacking core components. It completely crashed and burned.
We fell out of touch. I started dating someone else semi-seriously. Ill-matched. He dated in typical man fashion. Fast and furious. However nothing stuck past date three for him and my semi-serious relationship was lacking; respect, trust, love. Just a few minor details. One day I checked my mistreated and forgotten facebook to see a friend request from The to be Hubs after three years. No message or explanation. An innocent friend request. I looked at his smiling face. I looked at mine and my non-smiling semi-serious boyfriend's face on my profile picture and knew immediately that if I accepted this small peace offering the boyfriend would end up being an ex-boyfriend. It sounds harsh but the decision was made in less than a minute.
I accepted. I broke up with the ill matched semi-serious someone else. We began catching up. It was good. And it was serious. He was very serious about marriage, children, rocking chairs his and hers. He had always been serious, despite his age which he did point out wasn't exactly his fault.
Once we began catching up, our friendship picked up right where we had left off. In no time, both of us were asking ourselves why had we broken up in the first place. All the difficulties that had held me back initially seemed small in comparison to the hell I had put up with in my last relationship to keep it afloat. Not thriving, but barely limping along. It was clear that we loved each other very much. We could weather time, distance and anything else life threw at us as a team. We wrote each other emails, texted constantly and made time to discuss important issues.
I said there was drama though and there was... I soon discovered that I was pregnant. In very romantic fashion we married, shot-gun style. In a court-house with only two witnesses, both were family members. Promising each other that we would have a big beautiful reception with our friends and family present once we settled into our forever city, home, etc.
Once we were married, everything changed. I felt at peace. Whole and content with life. It wasn't the big epic wedding or romance telenovela that I had consistently day dreamed almost every other day in my over active and allow to me to say creative mind. It was however, everything that I had ever really needed. Security comes with the knowledge that you can trust someone completely and that they love you exactly as you are... with my first failed marriage (oh yea, that was the relationship that had ended previously, you remember... the first time I met The Hubs ), and then my semi-serious someone else I learned that lesson hard.
Pregnancy was difficult. We were transferred to a high risk doctor because of high blood pressure and concerns about low amniotic fluids https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a568740/low-amniotic-fluid due to Everly's size. She measured small at two of our ultrasounds. The stress was extreme and I was never fully comfortable in my, as it turns out, completely healthy pregnancy. Luckily, the blood pressure evened itself out and the specialist straight out told us that our previous ultrasound tech had actually done the measurements on the wrong scale. Everly was born at a healthy seven lbs four ounces at 40 weeks and 2 days. Everly changed everything, in the best ways possible. The love that we managed to find as a family of three was epic, in every way.
Today, looking back at how everything came together. How it's still coming together. The happiness we feel every day. I find myself in wonderment of love. We fell in love five years ago and when we broke up, I was crushed. Completely devastated. He was crushed. It was the real reason I stayed so long in an emotionally abusive relationship. There was real fear that I had missed out on "The One". Only for us to reconnect and fall in love all over. Not a lot of people get many actual second chances. I think of how often we laugh and smile as a family... I know without a shadow of doubt this is our Happily Ever After.
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